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There are three ways this could have worked better:
1) Verity is the psychopath. In this scenario, Verity’s manuscript is the truth. This leaves Lowen and Jeremy with no choice but to save Crew from her clutches. This only works if Jeremy had not already read the manuscript and had not already twice attempted to murder his wife.
2) Lowen is the psychopath. She finds out early that Verity is faking her coma, and she uses the manuscript – which is obviously a fake writing exercise – as a tool to manipulate Jeremy. This drives a wedge between him and his wife so Lowen can seduce Jeremy. Meanwhile, she befriends Crew and slowly convinces Jeremy that Verity is dangerous and he has to get rid of her. All while getting pregnant purposefully to trap him and force him to leave his life for her.
3) Jeremy is the psychopath. In this, my favourite scenario, Verity’s manuscript is still the truth, but Jeremy has always been aware of his wife’s feelings about children and being a mother. This means that Jeremy has been gaslighting and manipulating Verity from the beginning, playing the long game and completely aware of everything going on with the children. At the time of the story, he’s already moved on to Lowen as his next victim and has begun manipulating her while completing his end game with Verity. So many psychopathic actions: seducing Lowen while Verity can watch but not react as she fakes her coma, watching Lowen as she reads the manuscript and begins to suspect Verity, and then using Lowen as a tool to murder Verity – after he’s already impregnated her – to trap her so he can start the game over again. Jeremy has a lot of potential as a psychopath, and this seems the most likely, the most believable, and the most exciting of the scenarios. He could have been watching Lowen even before their first meeting and used the pedestrian death as a way to get close to her before she even knew what was going on. Besides, the two murder attempts do not tell the story of a sane man.
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